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Divorce as a Process Over Time

Divorce is a process over time. It’s not an event. Many experts who have studied the divorce process believe that to fully recover from the divorce and see the world through truly renewed eyes may take...

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Staying Out of Court

There really is no such thing as “your day in court.” The desire (or fantasy) that if only we had a chance to tell our story, a judge would understand the justice of our cause and the right outcome...

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When Is It Time to Let Go?

I attended a wonderful conference on brief therapy a couple of years ago and concentrated on the folks who were presenting about marital/couples therapy. Thus inspired, I had dinner with an old friend...

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The Shadow of the Law and The Culture of the Marriage

Our goal, in any negotiation of terms of a divorce, is (in the words of a valued colleague) to arrive at a Durable Agreement.  What does that mean to you?  In my view, it is an agreement that each...

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Supporting Divorce Recovery

Writer, Abigail Trafford once said that divorce is “a savage emotional” journey.  Trafford is but one of the scores of people who have studied the “divorce recovery process” over the past two decades....

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Lawyers and Personal Conflict

I like lawyers.  Some of my oldest, dearest friends are lawyers.  It’s really the same thing that has me coming back year after year to teach counseling skills to law students.  Lawyers, as people, are...

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The “Whuppin’ Stick”

I attended a Washington continuing legal education workshop recently to make sure I was keeping up in the newest developments in our family law.  One of the most interesting sections involved a panel...

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The Talking Stick

During the weekend of October 24-26, I attended the annual conference of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) in Vancouver.  I was fortunate to be accepted as a speaker and...

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And the Winner for Most Ridiculous Ad Message is……..

I was watching some sporting event over the weekend and was jolted alert by a Cadillac ad which carried one of the most offensive messages I had ever heard blurt through my speakers.  “A weak man urges...

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What are Your Real “Interests” When You Divorce?

Lawyers are habituated to getting to the bottom line.  Extraneous details are disregarded as dross and distraction.  Of course, typical of the breed, the average lawyer will look to monetary outcome as...

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